Congratulations on the breakup (or whatever just fell apart)
The pleasure of celebrating yourself when life goes south
I went to a women’s gathering last Sunday with the theme of the Year of the Snake.
2025, apparently, is the year of crazy transformation.
I gotta say, it does feel that way to me.
Highly overwhelming.
Highly stimulated.
Highly… everything.
You too?
It wasn’t until one of the spectacular women who was there said the craziest, yet most reasonable sentence:
“We need to celebrate the ugly more.“
Got a divorce? Congratulations.
Got cheated on? Congratulations.
Ended a friendship? Congratulations.
And that’s when it hit me.
Why don’t we celebrate when things go south?
We spend all our lives celebrating the good, the fabulous, the ecstatic happiness of life. But somehow, when things go south, we spend months suffering, dwelling on it, sometimes sharing with our people (or not), but simply feeling all the negative and waiting until slowly it passes (cause it does pass).
Sounds obvious, probably. But, damn, the ugly should be celebrated too.
And by celebrate, I don’t mean get drunk every day,
get high on drugs,
or lose yourself in casual sex.
No.
I mean, celebrate that for whatever reason, life has given you the chance to reinvent yourself again. Life is telling you loud and clear: YOU DESERVE MORE.
Congratulations, love
Ended a long relationship? Congratulations. Now you get to
Find someone who is much more aligned with you
Recreate yourself without the other person
Explore a world of endless possibilities.
Got cheated on? Congratulations. Now you get to
Understand you are so much more deserving
Be a stronger version of yourself
Love and be loved differently.
Friendship breakup? Congratulations! Now you get to
Reflect on what you’re looking for in your friendships
Clear past energy and welcome new one
Cherish the beautiful memories of the friendship and release the bitterness.
I’ve also been the girl who was cheated on
I know what you must be thinking:
She’s hella harsh.
And if you know me, you’ll know—more than harsh—I’m a dreamer.
A dreamer of the possibility of the better.
A dreamer of the next chapters.
A dreamer of the never-ending self-exploration.
I’ve been cheated on.
Spent months crying.
I’ve lost friends.
Grieved each one of them.
I’ve ended long relationships.
It’s taken me months to collect myself again.
But I always stand back up.
And come back stronger, better, wilder.
And I think this is what we need to hold on to when shit goes south.
I never really put this mentality into action until I broke up with my ex-partner last year. I decided I was gifting myself something big, something special, something very mine. And I did.
My breakup gift? A trip to Sri Lanka.
Yes.
Sri.
Lanka.
The breakup was awful.
Slow.
Exhausting.
Unexpected.
Took me about one month post-breakup to get out of the shock and 2.5 months to start writing again.
My whole life was put on pause. My writing, my projects, my art. I had no space for any of that.
So… I get you. Trust me.
Regardless of that, I gifted myself this trip because I deserve it.
I deserve to be immersed in nature and have time to be and rest
I deserve to travel far away and enjoy the beauty of life
I deserve everything and beyond.
Go Big or Go Home With the Self-Gifting
In case you’re going through crazy stuff, are about to, or just want ideas for when it happens (because, realistically, life is about souths and norths), here’s a list of things you can do to congratulate yourself after a massive transformational experience:
1. A Solo Rebirth Retreat (but make it ceremonial)
Rent a place in nature, and create your own ceremonies: moon bathing, journaling at sunrise, burying letters, burning old clothes. Bring a bottle of champagne and toast yourself.
2. The Rebirth Party (aka Divorce Party, but softer)
Throw a celebration for your transformation. Invite your closest soul circle. Dress up like a goddess, have a theme, make a playlist that honors your journey, and serve foods that feel lush. Don’t center it on bitterness. Celebrate your becoming.
PS. The wonderful woman who started with this whole congratulations thing actually threw a divorce party, and her ex-partner asked if he could join as it looked SO much fun. Of course, she said no.
3. A Photography Session. Alone.
Hire a photographer and shoot a series that captures your “after.” Think: vulnerable, sensual, sovereign. In the woods, in your room, on a rooftop. Make it raw. This isn’t about looking hot; it’s about seeing yourself clearly and claiming your new face in the mirror.
4. A “Threshold” Dinner for One
Go to the nicest restaurant in your city. Alone. Order whatever you want. Dress like you’re in a Wong Kar-wai film. Write a love letter to your future self between courses. Let this be a threshold moment. You are crossing into the new era, and you will thrive.
5. A Ritual Object You Craft Yourself
Make your own talisman. A necklace, a small sculpture, a handmade candle. Something you physically create with your hands. Infuse it with energy and intention. This is your artifact from the Underworld. Keep it close. When you wear it or hold it, you remember: I made it through.
Stay wild,
Isabella
PS. Credits to the amazing
for her inspiration to write this newsletter. Words of wisdom!
Yes!! So much of this. We can celebrate each phase. Or rather, we should celebrate each phase! Honored to be featured and spoken about here, Isabella. Thank you for your generosity and this gorgeous informative post.